Sunday, January 21, 2024

The Big Chiller

Twice in the past month or so, I have stumbled upon the movie "The Big Chill" on TV, last night being the second time. I knew I had commented on this movie once before, so I reread that post before starting this one. Here is a link to that one, from 2010.


It dawned on me as I started this post that I had never researched the reasoning behind the title of this movie. A quick google revealed that the Temptations created a song called The Big Chill Motown Medley which accounted for part of the answer as to its origin.

Additionally, Lawrence Kasdan, one of the co-writers, once referred to a physical chill that would pass through his body when encountering certain people in the film industry, and in life. The way he described it was not complimentary.

As it relates to the movie, however, it seems clear that the first reference, music, applies much more than the second one, although there are a few scenes between the girlfriend, Chloe, (played by Meg Tilly) of the newly deceased friend and one of the long time friends, Michael (Jeff Goldblum), that might remind one of the way certain men may be considered by a woman who recognize the intent of their attention, but is more repelled than attracted.

When I wrote that first reference post in 2010, I mentioned that those I considered my Big Chill friends were not drawn together at a college setting as in the movie. In fact, truth be told, it was at the McDonalds in Horsham, Pa, where we all met and began our friendship. While the movie friends were pursuing an education as part of their rebellious youth, we were making a living to fund our parties. The future for us was that night or the next weekend, or the next rock concert. Living for the moment. 

This is not to say that the characters in the movie didn't enjoy their time in similar pursuits. At one point, Harold (Kevin Kline) remarks something about "how much sex, fun and friendship can one man take", in reference to their time at Ann Arbor.

But there is a number of reference in the movie to idealism and commitment, as if the friends believed in something bigger than their shared good times. The friend (Alex) who has killed himself, the funeral being the reason for their reunion, seems universally considered the smartest of the group, yet apparently, one of the least successful in terms of societal norms. 

In fact, there is a scene in which Meg (Mary Kay Place) is riding in a car with Nick (William Hurt) where she recounts that the last time she spoke to their mutual friend, they argued, Meg telling him that he was wasting his life. Nick's comment, "that is probably why he killed himself", aside, her opinion reflects a theme that runs through the movie concerning lost idealism, and the compromises we make for material comforts.

In another scene, the character Sarah (Glenn Close) worries if their past idealism and beliefs were just "fashion." This is extremely poignant in that Sarah had a brief affair with Alex, yet was married to Harold who is far and away the most successful of the group. Before we get to know Sarah in more depth, there is a scene in which she is crying in the shower the night after the funeral. Is it just Alex she is crying for, or also the loss of her true soul mate? A man she did not marry, in favor of one who was able to provide her with children and the ideal comforts of the American dream.

There is also the words of Harold at the funeral. Just before he breaks down and is led away by the minister, he alludes to the belief that Alex was too good for the world. That, in combination with a news clip the friends find in Alex's possessions which recounts how he turned down a prestigious opportunity as a promising physicist, again leads us to think that Alex was not able to remove his ideals from the direction of his life.

And then there is the scene in the kitchen with Nick, Sam (Tom Berenger) and the husband of Karen (JoBeth Williams). It is clear that Karen and her husband are not exactly passionate lovers at this point in their marriage. We find out during the movie that Karen openly admits she was drawn to her husband as a reaction to what she alludes to as a difficult childhood, ostensibly due to her father's infidelity. Her husband is solid, loyal, provides a good life for her and her children. 

When he comments to Nick and Sam that perhaps the problem with Alex, the reason he decided to take his life, is because he was unable to make all the compromises to "set his priorities straight." And, lastly, that "no one ever said it would be fun, at least, no one ever said it to me." 

As a side note, I had a serious crush on JoBeth in my youth. Seeing her in this movie reminded me of that, and helped counter the idea that in the movie, The Big Year, she plays a grandmother. Yikes!

In some ways, the Big Chill fascinates me in that most of the friends, baby boomers who "experienced" the social upheavals of the 1960's, whose generation promised to change the world, are financially secure, have well respected careers. Meg is a lawyer, Harold a businessman, Sarah a doctor, Michael a writer, Sam a famous actor. 

Whether their ideals were fashion or not, almost all of them made choices that allowed them to live comfortably. While I can't go so far to say that my Big Chill friends and myself were far less successful, most of us are living comfortably, we are far less accomplished as the characters in the movie. Was that done purposefully, to present in stark contrast what Alex could have done if he "set his priorities straight" or stopped "wasting his life?"

While there was not a suicide in my group, there was a friend who lost himself at some point. His death created our group's Big Chill moment which I discuss in a post from September 2022.


Idealism. 

It certainly seems true that we jettison the ideals of our youth as the realities of life swarm upon us. We can't just quit a job that doesn't challenge or fulfill us, if we have a mortgage or a family. Must sometimes hold our tongue in the face of unfairness when it occurs at work. Worry less about a company's ethics or practices and more about their dividends. Identify with a politician who tells us who to blame rather than challenging us to make the world better for everyone, not just those who resemble us in their beliefs.

Perhaps no other generation faced such difficult decisions, in terms of maintaining one's ideals, than the boomers. Frankly, as I have said before, I don't feel we did such a good job. 

At the end of The Big Chill, the friends promise to stay in touch more regularly than they had in the recent past. Nick decides to live nearby Sarah and Harold, with Chloe, in the house that she and Alex were working on. One might say that they realized who their real friends were, who was the most important people of their lives, even if they never fully resolve their doubt as to whether they abandoned their ideals. 

For us in the real world, continuing to turn our back on the ideals related to promoting the building of character over portfolio, and to gauging ourselves and our society with a yardstick that is less material and more spiritual, is far more important than celluloid friends who lament, for a weekend, that they may have compromised those ideals. 

But at least films like The Big Chill presents us with a chance to look at ourselves in the mirror while reminding us of the times of our youth when it was all in front of us.
 





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