Youth and Time

I've been singing "Winter Wonderland" lately, as we have had light snow falling since yesterday.  Not much accumulation but the song still runs in my head.  My favorite line is "walking in your winter underwear", which is, of course, not in the song, but is my Yankovich version.


I finished reading "Youth" the fall Laphams quarterly, and began the Winter edition called Time.  Not sure what the thinking was to have those topics back to back, but the juxtaposition seems appropriate. 


I must say that I found myself distracted/less interested as I read Youth.  While there were many interesting essays, poems, stories, I was not as engrossed in the overall collection as usual.  Since my drive to work is only 30-40 minutes now, I have a bit less time to myself in the car, but during a recent commute, I thought about why Youth was less appealing to me.  The obvious is, of course, that I am not young anymore.  That in itself is a disturbing concept, and can very readily lead to a reluctance to read about the wonders of youth. Also, as I may have mentioned in a previous post, I also tire of the those past their prime who bash the young at every turn, as if the next generation is the worst to ever set foot on the planet.  Reading tirades such as these that date to the seventeenth century, the 9th century, and times with BC after the date, confirm my suspicion that youth is one of the most envious attributes, and the one which inspires a myriad of attacks from those who have lost theirs. 


Do I wish to be young again?  I don't think so.  Certainly I wish to have more energy, i.e. feel less tired.  And, if you haven't figured it out yet, I sometimes wish I had pursued writing at an earlier age, had went all in rather than writing as an ancillary aspect of my life.  But, if we knew now what we didn't know then .....  I certainly don't regret the main decisions I made in my life.  Marriage to a wonderful woman, two tremendous children.  Perhaps a writing career would not have lent itself to a more traditional life, and, were I to be a writer, I would be wondering if I missed out on the joys of a family.  As the song lyrics go, "It is not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got".


As for Time, I certainly do hope I have a fair amount of time to come.  More time to continue writing, more time to spend with family.  We all know that life is uncertain, that the car on the other side of the yellow line can come head on to yours due to a bee flying through an open window, or the scent of a flower that makes one sneeze, or merely due to a day that was too long with too little sleep.  We all know that ultimately, our time is limited.  Yet we spend so much of our lives looking past the present, wishing to be older, wishing for the weekend, wishing to be young again.  We seem to spend so little time in the present, then wonder why the presents have not added up to happiness.


Youth and Time. 


Here's hoping that you enjoy both!