The Golden Notebook

As mentioned in a previous post, I again purchased some books for Nora for Christmas.  One of them was The Golden Notebook, by Doris Lessing which I recently finished.

First, for those of you who might be interested in reading this book, it is not for the faint of heart, by which I mean it is not a "beach read".  Lessing touches on a myriad of subjects, both controversial, and basic to all people, but from the perspective of what she calls a Free Woman, something that would most likely be defined in as many different ways as there are people who choose to think about the concept.

Doris Lessing (1919-2013) was a novelist with an incredible range of experiences to draw upon for her career as a writer.  Born in Iran of British parents, lived in Southern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) from the age of 6 through 30, then moved to London, where she did most of her writing, Lessing's literary career has earned her many accolades, including a lifetime achievement award for British Literature (the David Cohen prize) and inclusion in the list of the top 50 British writers since 1945; fifth on that list which is all gender inclusive, if you were wondering.

So, what is The Golden Notebook about? Perhaps the best answer, might be the quote on the back of the book.

"What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is the first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well that you're capable of better."

In The Golden Notebook, Lessing tells her story in the guise of her main character Anna, but also in the other characters which are interspersed throughout the book, characters in the story of Anna, and characters in the stories that Anna writes, especially the novel for which Anna is famous, Frontiers of War. Both Anna and all of the female characters seem to me a reflection of the various aspects of Lessing.  Through them, she details her struggles with defining herself, in light of that overall belief that we all intrinsically know when we our compromising our values, we all know when we are chasing the first rate, or best sides of ourselves, and when we are settling for the second rate, and how we rationalize the acceptance of being less than we can.

What I also found interesting is the political component of this book, as Anna and a number of the characters, male and female, are members of the communist party.  (The time period for this book is the 1940's and 50's). There is an interesting interlude between Anna and a female representative of a movie concern who is trying to convince Anna to approve her book to be made into a movie.  This theme actually appears more than once in the book, but in this case, the person advocating for the movie, after realizing that Anna is not all that interested in the project, suggests that Anna visit her in New York the next time she is in the States.  Anna replies that the woman should probably have done a better job of researching Anna, as this conversation occurs during the McCarthy era in American politics, and that perhaps this movie representative might not want to be associated with Anna given the Red Scare occurring in America.  What is really fascinating is that this woman's demeanor completely changes when Anna tells her she is a Communist; she seems incapable of having the two thoughts in her head that a confident, smart, accomplished woman could write such an impressive book, and be a communist.

Even more interesting, is that Anna becomes dissatisfied with the communist party, over time, not because she no longer believes in the tenets of the party, specifically its promotion of equality for women, minorities, workers, etc, but because she sees how corrupt the leaders of the party become over time, especially in light of the horrible actions of Stalin.  She laments the decline of the ideals of her youth and belief that communism would bring more equality only to find that the actions fell far short of the ideals once the party became more important than the movement. Party and ideology over real change.  Not unlike the dissatisfaction so many Americans today feel about our 2-party system that rewards loyalty to the political and party leaders over the country's needs. 

It is impossible to summarize The Golden Notebook in a brief post as this, but I can touch on one of the topics that Lessing expounds upon, that of honesty with oneself which hearkens back to the quote I reproduced above.  As I said before, Lessing uses the characters in her story to tell us about herself as many writers do.  So why not just write an autobiography?  I guess one could defend the idea of fiction over non-fiction in that the second allows for some poetic license to illustrate a point whereas the other might just seem like an exercise in egotism by some readers. 

But I also think there is a danger in telling a story based on one's own life, in that one must face the reality of events head on, no holds barred.  And then, even more difficult, to write that account while understanding how the events of one's life has affected oneself, created, molded the person now writing that account.  (As a side note, I don't believe that anyone should even consider writing an autobiography, nor should we as readers encourage such writings through interest or monetary outlays, until the person is at least 50 years old.  Before that, it seems to me be just so much Here, look at me!). 

In addition to the danger of writing about oneself from the standpoint of understanding how events actually mattered, actually influenced one's later (and ongoing) life, there is the problem of how truthful one can be about others.  If one's parents were truly horrible people, does saying so sound like so much sour grapes?  In fiction, it is so much easier to just say that character X is based upon a parent or some other adult, and the finger pointing is reduced.  Does that mean that to be truly honest requires the ability to understand the limits of how honest one's family and friends are willing to be? Or, if the unconventional aspects of one's own life are to be truly detailed in all their less than "normal" glory, how might those revelations hurt one's family?  How many families would be aghast to read about flirtations with communism, homosexuality, drug abuse, or any sort of "deviant" behavior as defined by the morality that all generations use to judge the generations that follow?

In this regard, Lessing is brutally honest about the feelings and actions of her characters, all their deviant activities, but still leaves us to wonder which reflect her, as a person.  I am convinced that in aggregate, her characters all add up to her, but that is me.

I have mentioned before that I recently retired.  Once I had made that decision, I was much less reluctant to offer my opinions about the policies and direction of my employer.  I always felt I was more free in my conversations with those above me in the chain of command, as reflected in the fact that I was once fired from a job after questioning the work ethic of the daughter of the owner of the company, but there was certainly a further lowering of the guardrails as I approached retirement.  Similarly, we see a loosening of the tongues of some politicians once they decide not to seek office.  All of a sudden, the truth doesn't require the blessing of the party leaders before being opined.  It is also said that as we age we might become more truthful as there is less to worry about in terms of reputation or ambition.

But truth in writing is not just about saying whatever is true, feelings be damned.  Truth in writing should be about truth in revealing one's own world, one's own life's events, one's own feelings.  Tell all books may reflect truth, but far too many capitalize on our seemingly natural need to see the powerful brought to their knees, with all their personal flaws revealed, as if any human does not have flaws.  Perhaps that is part of the problem, the belief that there are people without human frailty, or more precisely, the need for us to believe that people with extraordinary insights and innovations must also be without flaws, to be superhuman.

So where do I go from here? I have a number of ideas in my head about what to write and how to present those ideas.  I have toyed with a loosely based autobiography, with the understanding that I can always say that an activity or feeling of what appears to be of myself is merely a partial reflection, or a combined reflection of myself and other people I have known.  At this point, I feel better about presenting my truths in fiction form, so as to protect any family member or friend who may feel betrayed of misrepresented, although I know that, deep down, that is really just me being scared to identify with the most truest me and not quite ready to be completely honest.

In the meantime, I am grateful for writers such as Doris Lessing, for her lessons on what it means to be a woman, in what it means to be a person, and in how we can honestly portray the intricate interplay of our feelings, our memories, our experiences in stories, both fictional and nonfiction. And in the search for what is first rate for ourselves, and our country.