After reading all the for and against comments about the commencement speech given by Harrison Butker, I also felt compelled to comment. But first, and perhaps along a different axis as was displayed by some who commented, I thought it best to read the full text of his speech first. Here is a link if you are also so inclined.
Anyone who has read my blog knows I have often mentioned that I was raised a Roman Catholic, and that I am now agnostic, at best, even borderline atheistic.
For those who have may not have a firm grasp on the definition of those two terms,
An agnostic believes that nothing is known or can be known about the existence of God or anything beyond this life but claims neither faith or disbelief in God, while an atheist disbelieves in the existence of God.
For me, someone who often mentions the Creator, I toggle between the two definitions because while I believe there may very well be a force beyond our understanding, I don't believe She picks winners and losers in this life. We have been blessed with all kinds of information, the wonders of nature, a brain to try to solve our shared problems, and even the lessons of some advanced spiritual beings, such as Jesus of Nazareth, Buddha, Mohammed, etc, all which should be enough to help us do for ourselves.
I certainly don't believe that God favors certain sports teams to win, and generally find it insulting to any belief I might have in an all-powerful, all-knowing entity when I see athletes look to heaven after a home run or touchdown, as if God had a hand in that small, rather insignificant accomplishment.
That being said, however, I would welcome a scientist who praises the Almighty after discovering a cancer cure, although I would hope that that praise would focus on the suffering saved, not any divine intervention that may have assisted the scientist.
OK, so hopefully, I have created a foundation for the rest of this post.
First and foremost, Harrison Butker has every right to his opinions, and certainly no one should expect anything other than a Catholic religion based commencement speech being delivered at Benedictine College, which is a Catholic liberal arts college. What would you think he would talk about? Further, one would expect his speech to be applauded at such a place; the fact that it was doesn't mean anything more than that those students share some or all of his beliefs.
As I said above, I read the speech in its entirety. And, in conjunction with my recent emphasis on the ability to keep two thoughts in one's head at once, here is my take.
Harrison Butker is proud of his faith, and not shy in advocating for his beliefs. That is a wonderful trait, and to be honest, in a time when people claim certain American or Christian values, it is a good thing when someone calls out what he sees as hypocrisy. However, in his speech, he quickly broaches the subject of Covid, calling it a fiasco, but only in reference to our current president and former NIAI director (Fauci) who called for lock downs, specifically those that effected church attendance and the administration of last rights.
Strangely, he omitted referring to the previous president, who I assume he endorsed and continues to, even though the lock downs originated during his term, He also failed to mention the one million Americans who died from Covid, instead seeming to focus on the inconvenience that trying to reduce the death toll caused and expressing sympathy for the students in front of him who most likely didn't have a high school graduation. Strange he didn't express sorrow for those who might have lost a loved one during the pandemic.
I guess what I am saying is that he pretty quickly rolled into political commentary which, again, is his right, but with obvious bias.
I believe that history will be much more kinder to those who may have erred on the side of caution to reduce the death and suffering as opposed to those who were all too willing to sacrifice the old and sick in the name of economics. I say that with confidence as I believe that had children been dying, the reluctance to stem the tide of the spread of the disease through lock downs, social distancing, masks, vaccines, etc, would have been less overt.
To be fair, Butker did call out clergy of his own faith, but again those criticisms focused on those who did not speak out more vociferously about the policies related to Covid that "interfered" with Catholic tenets, especially as related to not being able to receive the sacraments, a complaint he mentioned more than once.
Again, to reflect on my life, I received many of the sacraments Butker is referring to, baptism, confirmation, Eucharist, penance and reconciliation to name a few. I wasn't married in a Catholic Church but did have two Methodist ministers at our wedding. Obviously, I have not experienced the sacraments of Anointing of the Sick or Holy Orders (becoming a priest).
While I understand the importance of these rituals in the Catholic religion, or rituals of any religion, I was also taught that God is in your heart and that if you can't be in church you can take a moment to communicate with God through prayer. I guess I am saying that Butker seems to equate the closing of churches during the pandemic with an insidious, coordinated effort to undermine religion rather than a scientific approach to stemming a disease that was not well known.
I do agree with Butker that we need to "focus on our own state in life", and that "by living out your vocation," the world may be enlightened by your example. Yet at the same time, he has decided how we should live, advising the students not to get so involved in their achievements and positions (a good point about vanity) but that most of you (speaking to the women, particularly) are probably looking forward to marriage and children.
Certainly, advising women that it is OK to want to be happily married and a good mother is admirable, but he seems to be saying that that is, or should be their ultimate goal, which he further emphasizes by saying that his wife "would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and mother."
Now, I don't know his wife, but could easily imagine that she is glad that she is able to stay home and raise her children because her husband makes millions of dollars a year. But to say her life just got started because she was a wife and mother seems pretty arrogant, as if the poor women was lost until she converted to his religion, married him, and had his children.
I don't know if the Butkers will still be married when the kids leave the nest. I truly hope they live a ripe old age in wedded bliss. But I also would not be surprised if after his football career is over, and the kids are gone, his dear wife pursues a career that generates some income, just in case her use to him has ended.
Ironically, Butker's own mother is a successful professional women who somehow managed to raise her children and have a successful career. Presenting being a wife and mother as an all or nothing proposition to young women, seems rather insulting to me.
Butker calls thinking that finding happiness and self worth, for a woman, outside the parameters of marriage and motherhood a "most diabolical lie". Can you say handmaiden's tale?
Later in the speech he denigrates birth control as "playing God with children". The last time I researched child poverty rates in America, especially the southern states where ideologues like Butker control state legislatures, the percentage is disgusting. If family planning is playing God, then the vast majority of today's Catholics are do so, hence the decline in children being born for the last 30 years. The Butker's have two children as of now, I wonder how many they will eventually have, or will Butker and/or his wife choose to play God.
What is truly ironic, is that I do agree that women have been told a diabolical lie. The lie that staying home and raising children is valued in America. The statistics that confirm it are all too real.
Divorce rates among couples whose children have grown, have climbed precipitously. Often because the man, especially men with money, move on to a younger model. The fact that Butker will most likely vote for the republican candidate for president who has done that twice in his life, belies his admiration for women.
Also, the poverty rate among older women is higher than for older men. The fact that social security benefits are tied to work outside the home accounts for much of this problem. I didn't see in Butker's speech a call for basic income payments for women who choose to stay home, or even social security credit for this time. He wants them to have babies, and be financially dependent on their husbands. After that, I guess is their problem.
Butker doesn't mention to those young ladies who are just about to embark on their futures, that if they choose to stay at home and be dutiful wives and wonderful mothers (which is admirable as I have acknowledged), they better make sure their husband has life insurance in case of an accident, or they have a strong prenup in case he moves on to a newer model once the kids are gone, or a line on another man to take care of them, since they might have a dearth of marketable skills once their womb is ineffective.
To be fair, Butker does implore the young men in the audience to be present in the home, take part in raising the children, perhaps even engage in work that is difficult but supports the family better than something that is easy. He equates a rise in violence to the lack of male presence in the family, which most likely does have a correlation, but glosses over the fact that the majority of the countries he is compares America to have much lower gun ownership rates. It is easy enough to google crime statistics to see that over half of female murder victims are killed by someone known to the victim.
Finally, Butker makes a plea that the students date and befriend people who will help them in their life towards salvation. Now, as a parent, we certainly want our children to marry someone who will be a positive influence, who balance their life, who make them better people. But don't we also want our kids, all our young people, to learn tolerance of those who are different, who worship differently, who love differently, who believe in a different god, or none at all.
That is my biggest problem with Catholicism, and really pretty much all religions. This belief that there is a one true religion, and their version is the one.
Butker decries diversity pretty early in his speech, yet, as I have said many times, it was the Creator that made us different. Perhaps that is the true path to heaven, not which religion you follow but how you treat people not like yourself.
If so, Butker may be in for a surprise when he stands in front of the pearly gates.
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