A few weeks ago, I saw a news article about a wedding that took place in India. The groom was Anant Ambani, son of one of the richest men in India, the bride was Radhika Merchant, daughter of the CEO of Encore Healthcare. It has been estimated that at least $300 million, and perhaps as much as $600 million was spent on this almost week long celebration.
Upon reading the articles about the wedding, I immediately wrote myself a note to create a post about it, in hopes of doing some research on how many people such spending might help, average salary for an Indian household, poverty rates, etc.
It seemed such a natural topic for me to expound upon, given my focus on income inequality. It seemed especially galling to read the list of celebrities, sports stars, politicians, etc, who were invited to attend and/or perform during the festivities. Yet the note languished on my stack of papers.
Until I was sitting in a Catholic Church two days ago at the funeral of my cousin Mary who passed last week. Mary was my mom's cousin. As a result of the tragic loss of her mother at birth, Mary spent much of her youth in the home of my mother, and in her company. Like my mom, Mary was a devoted Catholic, someone who trusted in her faith and its promise of eternal life.
So, as the occasional tear spilled from my eyes, both in sadness for Mary's family and all those who mourned her loss, and the thought that I would find myself in other Catholic churches in the next decade, as those of the generation before me continued to pass, the thought of that extravagant wedding, and the simple funeral service I was attending, provided such a stark contrast.
Strangely though, it didn't make me more angry at the news of such a stupendous amount of money being spent on one event. Sure, such sums could be used to improve the lives of thousands, if not millions of citizens in India. But one could also say that the point of such a gala was to celebrate the joy of life. And who knows, perhaps those who funded that revelry spent a similar amount, in comparison to their income, as my cousins did for the pleasant luncheon we had after the funeral mass and burial ceremony.
While the reason for such family and communal gatherings were almost at the opposite end of the spectrum, a wedding and a funeral, the purpose of both is to acknowledge the past and look to the future.
A wedding recognizes the new love which is being celebrated while also being conscious of the past love between the parents that created the newlyweds, and of course, looks forward in hopes that their love will last and that a happy and satisfied life together will occur.
A funeral recognizes the importance of the dearly departed, how, without that person, many of the attendees would not be alive, nor would there be a reason for other relatives and friends to gather, yet it also marks a new chapter, and an opportunity for those who remain behind to strengthen their relationships, or, sometimes repair those that may be experiencing difficulties and pain.
Death...and living is a label that I have used in a number of past posts. Two that I reread today, before creating this post, can be accessed with the links that follow.
In one of these linked posts, the second one I think, I mention how the topic of death has been addressed throughout humanity, for as long as we have been conscious of our mortal life.
At this particular moment in time, the life expectancy of the average American ranges between 75 and 80, depending on your gender. My cousin Mary was 94, my mom is 90, so both have outlived most of their peers.
When I was reflecting on Mary and my mom, and their shared faith, it occurred to me that perhaps it was their faith that enabled them to live so long. Perhaps that ultimate knowledge, that a well lived life will result in an eternity with God, reduced the stress in their lives. Certainly, both had experienced hardship, which I shall not detail but assure you was present.
But then I also remembered the Billy Joel lyrics, Only the Good Die Young, and smiled a bit, knowing that both these ladies defied that assertion.
I still waver on the eternal life thing, and the existence of a soul. I am not a fan of "be good or suffer eternal damnation", believing that while man is flawed, we are more inherently good than evil, and should not need the promise of heaven or threat of hell to be kind to each other, not to mention that while thoughts on the afterlife permeate our holy books, they do vary.
If it were proven tomorrow that their is no life after death, nothing, nada, no reward for goodness, no punishment for evil, would the world sink into chaos? When I googled "do atheists commit more crime?", I found a number of articles on each side of the debate but no consensus other than the fact that there seemed to be more of a connection between IQ (intelligence) than religious or non-religious.
And, of course, as I have said before, people who claim religious affiliation often behave contrary to the spirit of their religion, CHINOS, as I like to call them (that is Christian in name only) although I am sure there are HINOS (Hindus in name only and JINOS (Jews in name only), hypocrisy knowing no bounds where religion is concerned.
I certainly don't believe one religion is any better than the others at creating adherents who are nicer, less prone to violence, while I do believe that the tenets of religion (the man made rules, biases, etc) can be a strong catalyst for inhumane acts against other people.
So, while I will continue to respect people like my mother and cousin Mary for their faith, I will also continue to question those who claim to be acting as God's warriors, will continue to call out the very rich for turning their backs, or worse, building their empires on the backs of their fellow men.
And occasionally post stories that reflect upon death, and commentary that contemplates our one shared experience (death), and our one shared question (life after death?).
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