The Testament of Friendship

Just finished reading the last of the four books which I purchased for Nora this past Christmas. The Testament of Friendship was written by Vera Brittain, and is the 2nd in her trilogy, the first being The Testament of Youth which I discussed in a post about a month ago.

https://wurdsfromtheburbs.blogspot.com/2022/02/testament-of-youth.html

..Friendship continues the story begun in ..Youth, yet focuses entirely on Winifred Holtby, from her birth to untimely death at the young age of 37.  It is a remarkable story, both in its execution and its lessons and its humanity.  And, again, it is from the perspective of a woman, something, as I have just (sadly) learned these last few years, that is far too rare, far too neglected in the annals of history, both actual history and literature itself.

My first impression of Brittain and Holtby, is that women like this do not exist today.  This is not meant to be a slight against the modern woman, but more a reflection of the incredible obstacles that women born in the late 19th century had to overcome.  The fact is that the vast, vast majority of women from that time period did not attain the achievements of these two pioneers, not because there wasn't talent, ambition, intelligence, strength in abundance possessed by the women then, but because there was so little opportunity to demonstrate such traits.  They were in the minority simply because the norms of the times changed by infinitesimal gradations, and on the backs of those few individuals, some men, but mostly women, who were willing to sacrifice for the causes of equality, the right to vote being at the forefront.  

Even something as simple as friendship between 2 women, a friendship born out of similar interests, and one which led them to live together at various times, combining their various incomes to be able to live independently, a rarity for women of the time, led to the always present side glances and rumors concerning their sexuality, such was the strictures that they faced, and, for the most part overcame.

So yes, while 100 years after woman's suffrage first became law in America, there is still work to be done towards true equality of opportunity for the female of today, it was women like Brittain and Holtby (and so many unsung others) who fought the battles, suffered the many losses, and resigned themselves to the often 2 steps forward, 1 step back pattern that historic change often follows.  

What also struck me throughout the book was Brittain's ability to, not only convey the amazing woman she thought Holtby to be, but to make the reader believe that we know Winifred, and that her loss is not just the loss of a character in a story, or a wonderful and lifelong companion, but as a friend in our own lives. We exalt in her triumphs, are saddened by her losses, and cry as her life comes to a premature end, wondering, just as Brittain did, if we could have done more to encourage her through life's challenges, or ease her pain as she bravely fought the disease that would cause her death.

For me, the book doubles down on my recent resolution to reach out more often to friends and family, reconnect with those from my past who are interested, and, in short, take action to, not only be a better brother, father, son, spouse, and friend, but be more cognizant of the short time we have in this life to not only be the best version of ourselves as possible, but to strive to encourage those in our lives to do the same.  

It also makes me wonder if, despite the progress, whether the kind of tribalism that placed the needs and thoughts of the male above those of the female for most of history, is experiencing a revitalization today in the rise of nationalism, partisan politics, race relations, and most egregiously, policies concerning gender identity and sexual preference.  Is this the natural pendulum backwards bump that often happens in times of great social upheaval, or a more insidious trend to revert back to the days when certain types of people knew their place?

It seems so simple, the concept that all men are created equal, and that friendships between people, between groups of people, perhaps between planets of beings someday, is the positive driving force that can provide the greatest opportunity for all, the greatest chance of peace.  One thing I know for sure is that anyone who can inspire such a book as Testament of Friendship, or write one for that matter, makes the world a better place for having done so.