Everything, Everywhere...

Nora and I went to see Everything, Everywhere, All At Once a few days ago. For those who have not seen the movie, but are planning to see it in the near future, I would recommend that you not read the rest of this post, as I feel it is important not to have any preconceived ideas about the film before you see it.

For the rest of you, Everything... was entertaining on a number of fronts. It is surprising in its plot twists, challenging to follow at times, touching in its ultimate message, and relevant. 

Before continuing, I checked a few of my past posts about family and am providing a link to three of them.

https://wurdsfromtheburbs.blogspot.com/2019/07/7-cakes-in-7-days.html  

https://wurdsfromtheburbs.blogspot.com/2013/06/for-rachel.html

https://wurdsfromtheburbs.blogspot.com/2011/09/parentsparenting.html

In some ways, Everything, Everywhere.. is a simple story about a woman's relationships with her daughter, her husband, her father, herself. Simple in that we all think about, agonize over, try to make better all our own relationships, so the story is very relateable from that perspective. However, the presentation of this simple concept was very unorthodox, even complicated as the story involves all the different versions, or worlds, in which we all might have lived had we made different choices at various times in our lives.

In the case of the lead character, Evelyn, she gradually comes to understand that even in those lives where she was more famous, or wealthy, or successful, it is the relationships she formed that was most important. That being happy had far less to do with fame and money, than having people with whom you can share your life, the ups as well as the downs.

There is one particular scene in which, while still thinking that she (and her husband) would have been better off had they not met, fallen in love, and ran off together, Evelyn actually tells her husband (in a different life path where they are not married) that it was best that they didn't run away together, because, see how successful they both are now in this alternate life. But the man not her husband in that version responds that he would have been happy running a laundromat and cutting coupons with her, more so than he is now, despite being more successful in this life, without her.

Another interesting story line is that her husband (from an alternate life) has come to her present life to save the entire multiverse from extinction (so, yes, there are two active personalities for the same man, which toggle off and on). As it turns out, the 'evil' entity that is trying to end all the versions of life, is trapped in Evelyn's daughter, and the 'other' husband along with all the people from that particular universe, believe they must destroy Evelyn's daughter, aptly named Joy.  And, they believe that they need the 'right' version of Evelyn to do so, hence they have been travelling from one universe to another seeking that version.

But as the film progresses we realize that Joy is also seeking this exact Evelyn, not to destroy her, but to convince her that nothing matters, and that it is better not to feel, not to care, not to love. There is an entertaining scene in which both Evelyn and Joy are rocks, and isn't this nice, a pretty vista, but no pain. There is also a big bagel used to reference such a place, where one can avoid being hurt simply by not being vulnerable to hurt, i.e, not being alive, but that is too hard to explain in such a short post as this, so, again, I encourage you to see the movie and stop reading.

While happy endings can be cliche, certainly overused, and not always fulfilling, there is a happy ending in this movie, even in the world where everyone has hot dogs for fingers. (Sorry, not a reference you can possibly understand without seeing the film.)

Evelyn defeats the evil in Joy, not by fighting, but through love. While perhaps, a stretch, it is the same force, love, that enables parents to survive the teen years of their children, and which when employed properly, leads to children and parents rekindling their love and their relationships when the teens become young adults in their twenties and thirties.

I have commented more than once in other posts about the research that has been done to determine what truly brings happiness. While there is certainly a monetary component as it can be difficult to be happy when hungry, without a home, and lacking the basic creature comforts that we seek, there is generally a ceiling on how much money, how many possessions, one needs beyond those basic needs. In general, the research shows that once people earn enough to be comfortable, having more money or possessions does not add significantly to one's happiness level. Put another way, billionaires and no more happy than millionaires, and millionaires no more happy than those earning over $150,000. 

Money can certainly buy temporary happiness, but you need the love that only a partner, or children, or family or close friends provide to find long term happiness.

From that respect, Everything, Everywhere... delivers the same message as all the great movies, especially holiday movies like "Its a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol", deliver. The sad part is that despite the obvious lessons that we all cry over and nod our heads in agreement, and perhaps even resolve to pursue more assiduously every January first, far too much of our culture revolves around gaining fame and fortune, and too often in the quest to gain those transitory prizes, we kill just a little more of our humanity in the process.

And make that hole in the bagel that much bigger.